


Watching and Waiting

by mansikka



Series: Alec's Bedroom [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Worried Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Magnus waits anxiously in Alec’s room after he’s gone on a mission





	Watching and Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)
> 
> This one came about as a live fic that people watched as it was being written. Here's the final result!
> 
> Thank you to toughpaperround for the title, beautiful header, and general wonderfulness <3

He's put it off for as long as possible. Today has already been one hell of a day with difficult clients, and disputes that have almost lost him his patience more than once. But as Magnus stands looking up at the New York Institute, all he wants to do is turn on his heels and run.

Maybe not run. One conveniently-opened portal and he could be back in his loft apartment within seconds, instead of stood here feeling unwelcome because Alec isn't here. Not _home_ ; Magnus struggles to think of the Institute as anything like _homely_ ; not unless Alec is actually present.

He paces under the shadow of the church, debating what he should do. Should he waltz through the doors with his head held high and ignore the various stares that follow him through the Institute's halls? Should he wear confidence he doesn't feel, hoping for at least polite nods of acknowledgment instead of feeling scowls on the back of his head?

It's too much. The day has been too long, and who knows when Alec will even make it here himself? Magnus checks around him moving to a more secluded spot and conjures a portal, stepping through into Alec's bedroom in relief.

The room is so still. Quiet. Like a tomb almost; Magnus shakes his head at the maudlin tone of his own imagination and snaps his fingers for a drink. He gulps, as though that will do anything to steady his nerves, once again pushing unwanted thoughts from his mind.

For all the coldness of the Institute beyond these walls, Alec's room _is_ homely, and warm. _Loving_ to Magnus' eyes. Because it is Alec's. The closet holding some of Magnus' favorite things to see Alec wearing. The photo Alec keeps of the two of them together on the nightstand on his side of the bed. That they even have sides of the bed sometimes leaves Magnus stood at the foot of his bed at home unnecessarily straightening out the comforter, bewildered that picking a side of the bed was ever an issue he got to have.

Magnus snorts for his curious musings, beginning to pace across the room. There is the floor-length mirror that, if he thinks hard enough, Magnus can see Alec peering over his shoulder in with _that_ smile. There are the paintings that, while no monumental works of art, he can still kill a little time imagining the story behind. He isn't even sure they are really something Alec would choose. But since they are here in Alec's personal space Magnus chooses to treat them with the same love and attention as he does with all of Alec's things.

Why he was surprised that Alec had so many books Magnus isn't sure. He often sees Alec studying his own bookshelves if he ever leaves the room for long enough, or is otherwise occupied when Alec comes to stay. Magnus strokes a finger down the spine of several on Alec's bookshelves that he both knows and doesn't recognize, pulling a tall one from one of the shelves for recognizing that it doesn't fit.

From the edge of the bed Magnus turns the pages, glass still in hand and his smile growing for seeing the smiling faces of the Lightwood siblings smiling up at him from the page. There are so many; Magnus has only seen a few cherished pictures that Maryse has shown him much to Alec's mortification, but these? These are special. A tiny Alec rocking an even tinier Izzy in his arms every part the proud big brother. Jace and Alec mid-fight, or sparring session, or whatever it is they were doing that resulted in Jace getting Alec to be doubled over laughing so hard he looks as though he has tears in his eyes, as Jace looks too winded to move.

All of these pictures make Magnus nostalgic, snapping his fingers for the photo album he's thinking of at home. Now this one _is_ special to him. Picture after picture of him and Alec in various places around the world, when Alec had decided they needed to catalog every moment instead of clogging up their phones.

Alec smiles up at him, arm proudly around his waist, looking so pleased to be there with him that it catches Magnus' breath. Magnus closes his eyes, begs the fearful thoughts waiting there for him to disappear, studying every photograph until he's had his fill.

Magnus slides his phone from his pocket, thumb paused before opening the screen, reading Alec's last message with a knot in his stomach. He'd not even had time to call; just a quick message about a mission with another Institute calling for reinforcements, and a warning that he'd probably be late back. Only a soft plea for Magnus to be waiting for him at the Institute when he returned — if he could — because who knew when that might be?

He's worrying over nothing. Magnus tells himself this even as he finishes his drink far quicker than intended, refilling it as he returns the albums to their respective shelves. He should have gone home; at least he could have worried about Alec there in comfort. But Alec asked him to be here; Magnus is so torn with what to do for the best that in minutes he's drained a second glass, firmly telling himself no more.

To kill further time, Magnus decides on a shower. He's only showered once here at the Institute alone, far more used to having Alec in there with him for company. The water feels too cold, the cubicle too wide without him. Even the familiar scent of his shampoo only makes him miss Alec. Which is silly, really. It's only been a few hours since they saw each other last.

Under the spray of the shower Magnus closes his eyes, picturing Alec sprawled out on _his_ bed. He'd moved when Magnus had got up to fix them breakfast, turned on his side though with his face pressed into Magnus' pillow. Magnus had stood there at the foot of the bed this morning with a tray in hand just smiling for what he was seeing. It's a happy image to fix in his mind right now, instead of whatever awful things keep trying to creep in there.

Is the mission something to do with Downworlders? Demons? Some threat on a similar scale to Valentine out there in the world that he is yet to hear about? Magnus pictures a thin, creeping demon coming towards Alec who is without even a single arrow to defend himself, and turns the water off with a firm shake of his head, roughly toweling himself dry. Though the image won't leave him. That tall, thin, creeping thing keeps following Magnus as he makes his way around Alec's bedroom. No matter what he tries to do to push his thoughts to happier things.

He should eat. It's hours since breakfast, and Magnus didn't really take the time to stop for lunch. Magnus dresses quickly and checks his appearance in the reflection, once again picturing Alec there ready to press kisses into his neck.

Should he eat here in the Institute? Wander beyond these four walls into the _canteen_ that serves such mediocre offerings? At least there he might hear details of this _mission_ , get some indication if he should be as worried as he has been since receiving Alec's message. If he'd only given him _details_ perhaps he would be calmer. But perhaps details would have made this even worse. Magnus can't be sure.

Magnus cracks open the bedroom door peering around the frame, listening to the footfall of whoever is going about the Institute doing their work. There would be at least some friendly faces, surely? Even with Alec and his team gone. Magnus makes it three paces out of the room then scurries back inside, chiding himself for such silly behavior as he throws himself down on the bed.

If Alec were here, Alec would probably ask for Thai food, since this morning when Magnus had finally roused him from his sleep it was what he was asking for, for dinner. Magnus had described three of the restaurants he intended portaling them to, though Alec had settled on one just a few blocks from here. Magnus thinks of walking through the city right now hand in hand with Alec and aches for how much he wants to be doing that, instead of sat here worrying as he is now.

Magnus doesn't think he can stomach anything. Though he portals in some tom kha kai soup, forcing his way through the bowl. Then decides that he is hungry after all, portaling in a second dish of pad thai. He sits cross-legged at the foot of Alec's bed surveying his surroundings, noticing all the details of Alec here that he usually doesn't see. There is a figurine on a bookshelf that feels hand-carved when Magnus picks it up, the crudeness of it suggesting this is Max's handiwork. He hasn't seen Max for a while; Magnus wonders about the youngest Lightwood, what mischief he might be causing wherever it is he is training in the world.

A knock on the door has Magnus almost dropping the figurine, carefully putting it back before approaching. Should he open it? Ignore it? If someone is on the other side of that door looking for Alec, will they frown for finding _him_ here? But if he doesn't answer it and there is news about Alec—

Magnus yanks the door open with enough force to make the Shadowhunter waiting on the other side of it stumble backward, hands up in defense. Magnus peers around them out into the hallway before looking at their face, trying to turn his look for this person into something other than the mistrust he feels.

"Uh. Hi."

Magnus nods, reluctant to say a word.

"I was asked to tell you that there has been some kind of… delay."

Magnus' heart is in his throat. "What kind of delay?"

"We're not sure," the Shadowhunter replies, folding his arms across his chest; Magnus wishes he knew his name. "We just got word from the Head of the Institute at Denver that they are still on mission, and that the incident is taking longer than they expected."

Why does the Head of the _Denver_ Institute have time to keep them updated, and Alec does not? Why aren't _they_ out leading this mission? "Do you know what the _incident_ is?"

"I don't," the Shadowhunter tells him, and at least he looks apologetic for it. "I only know that we were informed to expect delays. Possible casual—"

"There are _injuries_?" Magnus demands, ready to portal wherever he is needed to help.

The Shadowhunter holds his hands up and shakes his head, giving Magnus a curious smile. "We were told that only as a precaution. It's standard procedure. I'm sure there is nothing to worry about."

"Then—"

"Alec asked that the message was passed from their Head of Institute so that we could prepare if necessary. And, I imagine, so that _you_ wouldn't worry."

Which is the exact opposite of what this little update has done. But Magnus is still thankful that he's heard anything at all, quietly thanking the Shadowhunter again and closing the door. What is he supposed to do now?

Magnus checks his phone, scowls at the time, and types out a quick _I love you_ hoping that wherever Alec is in the world, at least those words might get through. And because he needs a comforting voice, something to distract him from his increasing uncertainty, Magnus calls Catarina, closing his eyes as he sinks back down on the bed.

* * *

Three hours. It's been three hours since Magnus heard that Alec would be _delayed_ , and he has gone beyond wanting to climb the walls. Magnus has inspected every inch of Alec's bedroom trying to keep himself busy. He has refolded shirts in the closet, straightened up a painting that he's convinced will never hang right, and even swapped the robe he keeps here for another at home so he can do some laundry.

Magnus even portaled through some ingredients for shampoo making, carefully rolling up his sleeves and mixing the half-finished ingredients over the sink. He has updated his schedule, made an increasingly growing shopping list of ingredients he thinks he needs to stock up on at home. Magnus has imagined at least six locations he is yet to take Alec imagining him sun-kissed on a beach somewhere, and staring out over a sprawling city by his side. Though those images keep being interrupted by far less pleasant ones, Alec collapsed on a street somewhere wounded, Alec broken and alone and unable to ask for help, Alec—

Magnus growls at his reflection for his spiraling thoughts, once again taking to pacing across the room. He has left twice already seeking information out, checked that Alec and his team hadn't come back and been rushed straight into the infirmary. No one knows anything, there have been no further updates since the last. And though Magnus loathes himself for interrupting Alec mid-mission, he has dialed his number more times than he can count. Each time going unanswered and filling him with even more dread.

Three outfit changes for the morning, two books to attempt to distract himself with despite Alec's own shelves being full; every tiny thing Magnus tries to portal in to keep his mind active fails within seconds. Every time he tries to lose himself in a happier memory or plan for the future Magnus finds his mind wandering. He tries Alec's number again, heart thudding when it goes straight to voicemail.

Magnus begins to plan a date for them. There is a hotel in Oban that he is sure Alec will love, the views of it some of the most spectacular over the sea. It's a travesty almost that he hasn't taken Alec there long before now. But Magnus is determined to make up for that with a long soak in the bathtub on the terrace there, and several dishes that he knows Alec will love. They will walk through the city after dinner under a canopy of stars, listen to the waves lapping against the beach as they watch the moon in the sky overhead. And they will be safe, _Alec_ will be safe, not being attacked by who knows what, and where. Magnus needs that now; more than he needs anything else.

Another knock on the door sends Magnus flying across the room. He swings open the door again holding his breath, that same Shadowhunter from earlier waiting with a nervous smile.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"We only have the briefest of details—"

"Tell me," Magnus demands, sure he might stop breathing altogether if he doesn't hear something soon.

"I spoke to the Head of the Denver Institute again—"

"What did they say—"

"That they have almost contained the situation, and are sending a team to recover—"

" _Recover_?"

The Shadowhunter holds his hand up, pleading with Magnus to hear him out. "I only know that. Honestly. I have no details other than to say that… well. That _is_ all I know."

"Where are they? Can I—"

"We can't do anything right now," the Shadowhunter says, sighing. "I wish that we could. But we have our own patrols here, our own work to do. I'm sorry. Truly. The moment I hear anything else I will tell you."

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Magnus asks, even though it isn't a reasonable question. How is this _Shadowhunter_ to know how to calm the chaos in his mind?

With a pinched smile the Shadowhunter gives a half-shrug that says he is all out of answers. "In other circumstances… I would suggest that you sleep."

_Sleep?_

The outrage Magnus feels boils beneath his skin and crackles from his fingers. He is only thankful that the Shadowhunter looks so unperturbed. Because the only action he can then take is to slam the door in his face and begin his frantic pacing once again. Though Magnus then sends an apology after the Shadowhuner who is so kindly keeping him informed, hoping he doesn't spill the coffee he portals into his hands.

* * *

Voices beyond Alec's door wake Magnus, jolting him awake and leaving him gripping to the bed for almost slipping. He hoists himself up settling on Alec's pillows as he listens, unconvinced it isn't wishful thinking. But then he hears voices again, and footfall, and chaos. Magnus throws himself from the room, charging down the hallway seeing a group of Shadowhunters up ahead. He grabs the arm of one and swings them around, and is thankful that the fist that flies towards him in defense stops in time.

"I'm sorry. I need—"

"They're expected any moment," she says, not unkindly, hesitating before reaching out to squeeze his arm.

"Then I need—"

"What you need to do, is return to your—Alec's room," she tells him, gesturing back along the hall.

"If you think I can wait there—"

"You _will_ wait there," she insists, arching an eyebrow that, honestly, could out-rival Alec's. "You are a guest in this Institute. We have no way of knowing what is coming through—if there are casualties, or injuries, or what we need to do. So I know this must be difficult for you, but you will need to wait there."

She must be joking. She has to be. How is Magnus supposed to sit and wait quietly in Alec's room when who knows what state they are all returning in. But that eyebrow just arches higher, and Magnus can't be feeling himself. Because he turns with his complaint held firmly behind his lips and returns to Alec's bedroom, slumping on the end of the bed. And _waiting_.

* * *

There is footfall approaching. Magnus is sure one moment that it is Alec's, and then adamant the next that it is not. He holds his breath as the door creaks open, sagging in relief when Alec sticks his head through a gap in the door and peers inside.

"Hey," Alec whispers as he steps through looking as relieved as Magnus now feels. "I thought maybe you'd be sleeping."

" _Sleeping_?"

Magnus is up and across the room in seconds; he has to have Alec in his arms. Alec sags against him tiredly raising his arms to loosely hug him back, pressing a sleepy kiss to his shoulder.

"I'm sorry we—"

Magnus cuts him off with a kiss, far too relieved to see him to think of anything else. He feels Alec smile against his mouth and shuffle closer, then leans into Alec's palm as he cradles his face.

"Let me see you," Magnus says holding Alec at arm's length, cataloging his wounds as he belatedly closes the door and sends a spiral of magic at it for extra privacy. There is a bruise to his jaw, a cut above an eyebrow, and from the way he's holding himself Magnus is convinced he has at least one cracked rib. Magnus mumbles under his breath in complaint, which thankfully Alec only smiles for, carefully leading him over to the bed and encouraging him to sit.

Alec must be exhausted. He doesn't protest, doesn't say a word, only watches as Magnus drops to his knees and carefully starts to unlace his boots. Though he does hiss when the right one comes off; taking off Alec's socks reveals a badly swollen ankle, mottled shades of purple and blue.

"Why haven't you healed these yet?" Magnus asks, sending a blast of magic over the injury and pleased to hear Alec sigh in relief.

"Just wanted to get back. And then to see you. I'm sorry if I made you worry."

" _If_?"

Alec sighs, covers Magnus' hand where it is rested on his knee, rolling just enough to dig his stele from a back pocket. As Alec tries to sit up better Magnus helps him out of his shirt, glaring at the bruising waiting for him there. Between Alec's iratze rune and Magnus' magic they put him back together; Magnus knows he is feeling whole again when he sighs and gestures for Magnus to move.

"You maybe want to lie here for a minute?" Alec says, patting the bed beside him as he sprawls out.

"You don't want to shower first? Or I can use magic to—"

"I want to hold you," Alec retorts, shaking his head against the bed. "It's been a really, really long day."

What is Magnus supposed to say to that? He crawls on the bed beside him into Alec's waiting arms, feeling himself put back together for Alec finally being here.

Alec's bedroom is still again, quiet, though not in anticipation of something horrible about to happen. It is as though the warmth has returned to it, that the very air has calmed. Magnus feels the last of the tension slipping from his limbs, sure he could fall asleep just like this.

"Are you going to tell me about it?" Magnus asks, sweeping a hand over Alec's side and pulling him in closer still, accepting his kisses before Alec buries his face in Magnus' neck.

"Later," he says, muffled into Magnus skin. "Tomorrow. Just… later. I just need this right now. I need _you_."

Magnus gets a kiss to the back of his hair and allows himself to sigh in relief, basking in Alec's warmth.


End file.
